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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It's called being bisexual but as I grew up experiencing sex with guys and gals, I realized that at the root of it, it's sex and that it didn't make "that much of a difference" who you were having sex with or who you wanted to have sex with. Oral sex is oral sex; fucking is fucking and no matter which hole is being used and, absolutely, guys can be fucked just like women can and women can get something they can use to fuck a guy, too.

I would observe all the riffing, both pro and con, over sexuality and, back in that day, faggots and trannies were the highly touted topic of the times and, okay - personalities and other stuff certainly played into things but still, at the root of it all, it's still sex and not necessarily with the purpose of procreation... and more so when "natural-born men" can't get pregnant... but it can be fun trying.

I was seeing that unless someone was against having sex, pretty much everyone wanted to and as evidenced by the teen-aged years where everyone except those who were against having sex were trying to get laid and, to that end, it wasn't - I guess 'unexpected' is the right word - to see both guys and gals wanting to have sex with other guys and gals - just not in the way we were told it's supposed to be. There's the whole emotional aspect that can be involved but setting that aside for the moment, it was about having sex, feeling good, having orgasms and letting sperm flow.

But there were - and still are - a lot of people who couldn't seem to make the obvious connection; sure, it was kinda/sorta about liking someone enough to want to have sex with them but while people were arguing about the way it's supposed to be done, they just overlooked the fact that human beings liked, wanted, and needed sex; it was just that there were a lot of people who weren't all that particular about whether the person they were having sex with was, at the least, physically like themselves.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As fucked up as it sounds, it really is okay to be afraid and conquering those fears, well, if it was that easy, everyone could do it. How to get past them? Use your intelligence and don't let your emotions run the show. Look at your fears then sit and think about how to best make them not be all that fearful and give a lot of thought about what fears are real ones and what fears are those that your mind has just made up. Afraid of catching something? That's what condoms are for - doesn't get any simpler than that. Worried about someone finding out that you got some dick? That's when you kinda plan things out... and then your plans have plans and those plans have their own plans - and then don't overly complicate things - believe me when I say that your fears will put your mind into overdrive and like you probably wouldn't believe.

Take baby steps. For a lot of first-timers, it's a "slow" progression that goes from just being naked with another guy to being able to touch the other guy's body, to taking his cock in hand - or he's got his hand on yours and then, once one is comfortable with this, taking the next and big step of sucking/being sucked... then going with that for as long as it takes before graduating to fucking/being fucked - and that's if you can even go there to begin with. Don't let the other guy pressure or shame you into doing something you don't think you can do and, importantly, don't even try to make yourself do something that you're somehow pretty sure you can't do.

I've heard horror stories from other guys about their first time and how the other guy "tricked" them; they said all we're gonna do is suck each other's dick... and then they guy is trying to fuck them and to say it got ugly is an understatement. Know that you can say no at any time you want to and for any reason... and if the other guy doesn't like it, he just doesn't like it and if he starts busting your ass about it, don't listen to him - and I know that's not easy either. If you can't, [B]it does not make you less than a man[/B] and don't let them tell you anything different.

But there's still that fear of not knowing about the other guy, isn't there? Is he gonna do right by you or are all of your fears going to show up at the same time? The truth is there's no way to really know - you have to be able to trust the other guy... and not so much trusting him at the same time and, yeah, one should [B]always[/B] be prepared to protect themselves because another truth is some guys, well, they can behave very badly when their dick gets hard.

It's okay to be afraid but the truth is that if this is something you really want and have to do, you're gonna have to learn to not let your fears run the show. Be aware of them but keep in mind that your fears are only real [B]if and when[/B] they ever show up... and they might not. And until they do, they're not all that real; you're not going to turn into a gay guy and if catching something nasty scares you, use condoms; if you fear being caught or otherwise outed, well, you need to carefully - but not overly - think about how you want to go about doing it and keep in mind that some guys draw suspicion and even out themselves because they tend to do things that they normally don't do, like some guys who aren't known to hang out with the fellas is suddenly hanging out with some guy or, really, anything that is outside of their normal routine.

Think first... then act if you must... or if you can... and if you can't, just don't.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It gets even more real if, for his first experience, the guy wants to suck cock and, again, I've had guys go through some shit just to touch my dick and go through even more shit in the exact moment they take me into their mouth - and some of it ain't what I'd call pleasant. I've had guys throw up on me; one guy was so scared that if he could have shit himself, he would have - but all he did was fart like you've never heard anyone fart before. I've seen guy literally piss themselves and, of course, I've seen them cum and even without any contact being made. I've seen them break down and cry or otherwise just lose it.

And I've also heard guys say, "Fuck it..." and just do it or, yeah, say, "Fuck it..." and they don't do it and then say, "I just can't. I want to... but I can't." This happens and I'm not bullshitting you about it and now, at least for me, it's about getting them to be okay about not being able to go through with it... and that's not easy, either.

Maybe you think sticking your dick in a guy's ass is easy... and for some guys, it is... but for others? I've seen guys ready and willing to fuck me and the moment they try to get it in me, goodbye erection... and it's not coming back. I've had guys be so highly strung that they've shot their load all over me before they even got anywhere near my ass; I've felt them unload the moment the head of their dick makes contact with my hole and the same thing before they even get the head in. I've had guys get the head in, push a little more in and lose it and, of course, this is pretty much every man's worst nightmare and, usually, one of the main things they were fearing. Now I'm telling them that it really is okay - losing your erection or busting a nut super early? It happens. Let's take a moment and just relax, okay? It's not gonna help anything if you start kicking your own ass about it.

That's not easy either because, intelligently, a guy can and does understand this... but emotionally? Train wreck and an epic one.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've sat and talked and watched guys process this intelligently and decide - and without any urging on my part - that they can do this. They're confident and kinda/sorta not so afraid... until - and if they've decided that I'm the one to give them their first experience - the dicks come out. It's not really real at this point because, really, who hasn't, in some way or the other, seen another guy's dick before? With those guys who want to have their first male blow job, I wish I could really tell you about the look on their faces as I carefully begin to blow them; I wish I could put into words just how nervous and afraid they are; not only do they know that this ain't supposed to happen... but even if they've had women suck their cock before, they believe that this is so different that I've seen guys break out into cold sweats, throw up, start crying or laughing kinda hysterically. I've had my mouth just about on them and they've changed their mind because they just can't overcome whatever fears and anxiety that's now taken control of them.

I've seen guys so hyped up that all I've done was to wrap my hand around them... and they've blown a load that's so huge that we're both surprised and I've gotten a guy into my mouth and a moment later, here comes that gusher of sperm and, yeah - it's one of their fears made real and now I have to let them know that it's normal and perfectly okay - it happens and, besides, you just did what I wanted you to do: Cum.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It just makes convincing a guy that there's "nothing to be afraid of" a damned difficult thing to do. Not only do guys worry about becoming "instantly gay," they're also afraid of looking like a coward and fears not being able to "man up" and deal with the dick. And, yes: I've even talked to guys whose main fear was that if they do this, they're going to really like it. Yeah, I know - that doesn't seem to make sense but it does speak to how well a guy knows himself and, "usually," guys who know that they have the tendency to get "carried away" with something are usually afraid that they're gonna like this and to the extremes.

I have told guys, "Look... if you don't think you can do this - and for whatever reason you can't - then don't do it; it's really that simple. You have to be confident that you can and that whatever risks or whatever that's scaring you so much are things you can deal with - and if you have to face them at all because sometimes, those fears never appear."

I've had guys tell me, "You make it sound easy..." and I'll tell them that my experience makes it sound that way... but it's anything but easy and I know that. And now we get into the moment of truth part of all of this...[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've sat and talked to guys about their fears and tell them, honestly, that it's okay and normal to be afraid but let's get to which fears are real one and which ones could be their imagination working overtime - and that just ain't easy to do. I've truthfully told them that sex - any sex - is inherently risky and no matter who you're trying to have sex with. Is the taste of sperm as bad as people say it is? It can be. If anal, does it really hurt as bad as people say it does? Yes, it can hurt and in later years, I've likened it to getting a tattoo - and it does hurt and it can hurt like a son of a bitch - but depending on some stuff. I have 14 tats and getting them did hurt at first - then it stopped hurting but I have two on my chest and, yeah, they hurt beyond belief and so bad that I almost punched out the artist.

If you do this, does it mean that you're really gay? Oh, fuck no! The truth is that not all guys who have sex with guys are gay but it is also true that gay guys have sex like this. What if someone finds out that you did this? A real fear... but I've answered this question by asking them, "How would someone else find out that you did? The only way I know of is either you tell someone you did or whoever you did it with tells someone - and that someone knows you (or knows of you); some guys, believe it or not, unintentionally rat themselves out and often without saying a word - but how they're now acting can get someone wondering why you're acting the way you are... and some people are gonna ask... and some people are intuitive enough to "know" why you're acting the way you are.

Otherwise, how would someone else know? It's "funny" that guys have taken the plunge and become paranoid or, like one guy told me, after he sucked dick for the first time, he felt like [B]everyone[/B] who saw him knew what he'd just got done doing. And married guys can be just as afraid of these things I've mentioned as single guys can be. Having that first time is a very emotional moment and I try to get a guy to use his intelligence and not let his emotions run wild and, nope - it's not that easy to do; guys can intelligently agree that there's little to be afraid of but emotionally? Fear is stomping a mudhole all in their ass - metaphorically speaking, of course.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I have literally sat with guys looking for that first time - or advice on how to get it - and they're so highly strung about it that I've seen them literally shaking; I've seen guys throw up and, um, let's say that a couple of guys didn't make it to the bathroom in time. I've heard so many guys tell me, "I want to this - I need to do this... but I'm afraid to..." and I learned to ask, "What are you afraid of?"

Then it's all about sitting and listening to what scares the shit out of them... and then trying to convince them to not be all that afraid. The fear of the unknown is damned powerful and, again, it's a crazy fear because it is well known that guys suck and fuck each other and those results are what they are... but how is that gonna be for them? No idea at all and even when they've kinda made up their mind what it is they wanna do first and it's pretty easy to just sit and think about that... but doing it?

I've had them ask me if I was afraid my first time and it probably doesn't help them when I tell them that I was too damned curious about it to be afraid; it's a lesson that I think is very important: What scares the shit out of one guy won't scare the shit out of some other guy so making the decision to take the plunge - and based upon the experiences of the guy you're talking to, eh, it might help and it might not because that was them... and not you.[/SIZE][/FONT]

I was exploring my submissive side when I met a man that turned me into a feminine submissive bottom. He would call me and say "how's my little faggot" , god that turned me on. He took total control of me sexuality, he would tell me to touch myself, call me at work and demand I start playing with my cock while I was sitting at me desk, or to jerk off in the mens room, or stroke my cock and taste my pre-cum, or his favorite to finger myself till I had at least 3 fingers in me. He even had me expose my cock in public, while I was driving, walking from the store to the car, and even when I walked my dog, on a public road, he would command my to take my hard cock out, and stroke it while walking.
He would call me late at night to suck his cock, I would sometimes suck is cock in his driveway, were we could be seen! We went to a couple of gay clubs and I would suck his cock in public, did I love that. He'd pick guys out for me to suck off or fuck. When we were together I was either his good boy or bad boy, when I was his good boy he would stroke and kiss my bottom, and softly lick my hole telling me how sweet I tasted, when I was bad I'd be spanked and remined who was in charge. even though had a small thin cock, I loved when he fucked me. He fucked me from behind or spooning, size was he to small to please me, but the energy I felt from him made his cock feel magical inside me. when he would cum in me with that pleased look of his face, it was so wonderful that I had pleased my man.