With all the recent hooha on here about cheating and relationships, it has raised a question about our self-image and self-esteem. How can someone who is living part of their life in secret keep from being ashamed of their sexuality. Now cheating is shameful in my own eyes but for the sake of our discussion we aren't going to tackle that issue and move on to self-image issues. Having a positive self- image is important to maintaining good mental health, sexual repression is fertile ground for all sorts of psychosis and other mental health problems. There are two ways to approach the issue of self-image, how YOU see yourself, and how everyone else sees you. For the most part, how everyone else sees you is more beyond your control. The best you can hope for is to put out positivity and hope others don't judge you. You are at the mercy of their attitudes and morals, and are subject to judgement however deserved or undeserved it may be. What you can control, is how you see yourself. A big part of not being involved in self-deprecating behavior is acceptance. Self-acceptance is the basis on which a positive self-image is built. Many people of alternative sexual orientations engage in self-destructive behaviors because they aren't at home in their own skin. This often leads to excessive drinking or drug use, or risky sexual behavior. These are signs of self-loathing and can lead to further disfunction in relationships and in wider society. We have to learn to love ourselves for who we are, that often requires us to disregard what those who would judge us feel. Irregardless of what someone else thinks, your own self-worth is more important. Being bisexual isn't a crime, nor does it make you morally bankrupt. What it makes you is more openminded than your average heterosexual. You can be bi and be a good person still. Loving yourself is more important than acceptance from others. Without self-acceptance there can be no self-love. There can be no self-acceptance if there is shame about what you are. Being honest with yourself is a good first step to self acceptance. If you are doing things that are contrary to good moral and ethical behavior,it's easy for shame to set in. Self-examination is key, examining your behavior and eliminating things that are hurtful to yourself or others goes a long way to feeling more at home with yourself. Once hurtful behavior is eliminated, you stand a much better chance of a clear conscience and self-acceptance. Give yourself no reason to feel guilt or shame associated with your sexuality and that's definitely a step in the right direction. Being bisexual isn't shameful in itself, engaging in behavior hurtful to yourself or others because of your bisexual tendencies is. We as bisexuals often are judged by others, we fear that judgement. An important step in becoming self-accepting is removing the opportunity for others to judge us. We have to stop caring about their judgement and realize it is okay anyway. Often those who would judge us don't really matter to our everyday life. Some, such as family members do matter, and that remains a choice about how much you wish to disclose to them and how important it is for them to know at all. After all, you don't have to wear your sexuality on your sleeve, and unless there is a real reason for someone to know you are bisexual, it's really none of their business. Being out for the sake of exposure is not necessary. You don't have to advertise, you just need to find a happy comfort level. Unless you are emotionally beholding to someone, like a spouse or partner, then disclosure is optional. The last thing, is giving yourself permission to be you. Being free to be yourself, a fully actuated practicing bisexual, is important because it allows you to make the choice of realizing what you are is okay. This isn't to say you are giving yourself permission to cheat, if you situation dictates cheating to be a fully actuated practicing bisexual person, then you have more issues to deal with than just yourself. Giving yourself permission to be you is a very important step in learning to love that person. One has to be at home in their own skin to ever be able to love and accept what is housed inside that skin. Giving yourself permission to be bisexual is accepting the whole person, not just the heterosexual half, but the same-sex part too. Self-acceptance allows you to find peace within yourself and live a self-actuated life. What others feel about you is secondary, their acceptance is appreciated but not necessary to be happy. Life is too short to live in a way that makes you unhappy. Feel free to be yourself, and I hope you find peace within yourself.
I am a so far just curious guy. I often fanticize about getting ass fucked by a wman with a strap on while I suck her mans cock....I love ass play...never had anything but a dildo, but would love to try the real thing
WOMAN ARE SO STUCK UP ON WEBSITES , I THINK THEY SEND MEN EMAILS SO THEY CAN LAY IN BED AND STROKE THEIR CLITS WITH THEMS VIBRATORS TIL THEY CUM ..... I FIGURED OUT WHY SOME JERKS WEAR A NYLON SOCK ON THEIR HEADS , TO KEEP THE LICE FROM JUMPING UP FROM THAT UGLY ASSED KINKY HAIRED BUSH ,WHILE BEING BANGED UP THE AHOLE AND ELSEWHERE ! TRUE. / FALSE
As acceptance is gained by the gay community in our society and the same sex marriage issue is resolved, it begs the question of how bisexuals will be seen in the future. I am out, I came out years ago to my wife when we first got together, she told me of her own bisexuality and we decided to explore together. That choice has set us free, we have no shame in our game, we don't wear our sex life on our sleeve either. But being bisexual is an ever evolving thing and the next generation will be far more accepting of alternative sexuality than we have had to deal with. Bisexuality used to be something girls explored in college with room mates. Now, they have explored it and liked it and have no fear of expressing it openly. Many who indulged in the Rave culture surrounding the drug MDMA (Extacy, Ex, X ) explored bisexuality openly at rave events. The drugs ability to break down inhibitions often opened doors not previously explored. People relished in new and exciting sexual experiences for the tactile sensation alone. The sensation of giving oral sex was something many guys explored freely simply because the drug heightened the awareness of how a cock felt in their mouths. Suddenly bisexuality had a foothold on acceptance among the next generation. They learned not to care about preconceived ideas that bisexuality was bad and just explored for themselves. They learned these taboos were simply barriers in the mind that done safely, had no effect on how they lived their lives. The sun came up the next day, the world didn't end, no one knew unless they divulged it to them. As long as no one was hurt, what difference did it make? With the debate over same-sex marriage still raging in the courts, it has swayed in the direction of marriage equality. With each court decision the momentum gathers despite spirited opposition from faith based organizations. It seems soon marriage equality will be the law of the land, as so far the issue has come up in 16 state supreme or appellate courts and all 16 have ruled in favor of marriage equality. As that debate rages on, and as we see the pendulum swing toward equality for the LGBTQ community, where will it lead us Bisexuals as a community? Will we gain acceptance in larger society and be able to be open about it? Will the male dominated hierarchy change it's view of masculinity to include a bisexual men? Will female bisexuality become so common it will be passé? Will we as bisexuals go beyond just sex with both genders and move more toward polyamory? Will that move us to seek marriage with both sexes? What does true gender equality mean? What does our future look like? These are all good questions. We have yet to come together and really jell as a community even within the LGBTQ world, let alone society at large. But these are questions we need to ask ourselves to determine where we need to take ourselves as a community. I'm sure there are more questions that I haven't even thought of yet. But we need to begin thinking of these kinds of questions in order to bring about acceptance and change in society. It begs us to question ourselves, what are our goals? What should they be for the future?
I am not a cheater, I don't condone cheating, I have never cheated on my spouse, ever. That being said I feel the need to post about the current hooha going on here, it has gotten to be a pissing match. This all started over one angst filled spouse of a bisexual husband who stepped outside of his marriage vows to satisfy his sexual urges. I feel for her, she has been betrayed and is justifiably angry. It does have a tendency to piss people off when they have invested years in a relationship only to find their spouse is dipping their wick in another candle. Male or female, it's really of no consequence what the sex of "the other" is, the fact that "the other" exists is reason enough to be upset when your relationship parameters are those of monogamy and fidelity. With THAT being said, here is where I have real issue with the current fuss. In any relationship a climate of communication has to exist. Many people don't know how to foster good communication in a relationship in order to be able to tell their spouse they have desires that are not of a heterosexual nature. This combined with poor relationship choices often sounds the death knell of many relationships. Being bisexual is a complicated thing under the best of circumstances, being married and bisexual often is a ticket to divorce court. But two failures have most likely occurred in most circumstances that end that way. First, is a failure to communicate, creating an environment where open, honest communication is achievable takes work, real work. Both parties have to accept their spouse and be prepared that not everything that is disclosed will neatly fit within the confines of fidelity and monogamy. Egos may be bruised, feelings may be hurt, because sometimes the truth ain't pretty. But a loving environment where acceptance is paramount can overcome these insecurities and problems. Failure to do so is failure in total. Responsibility for this foul lies in both courts, if you can't communicate your needs, you have either the wrong relationship for you or the wrong partner altogether. That's a hard fact to deal with but it's reality. It's communicate or perish, no other way around it. Secondly, both partners needs have to be met. Some people see this only as a one sided equation, like any equation it must balance on both sides of the equal sign or the answer is wrong. Insecurity is just as dangerous as lies are, and if your spouse is insecure about your relationship, it's time to take stock in how you have not done your job in fostering a secure relationship. All the barriers here are in the mind, there are no physical walls to breach, no way mince words about it. Insecurity and jealousy come from fear, and fear means you haven't created trust and security. Sex is an act, it only has the emotional context people attach to it. That emotional attachment varies greatly from person to person, men tend to attach far less emotional weight to sex than women. Men and women treat infidelity differently as well, men ( usually ) cheat because their needs are not being met at home, women ( usually) cheat because they seek recompense. Both connote some other foul created by the spouse that is unaware of the cheating, neither foul is justifiable or reasonable. It's a giant "fuck you" to the unaware spouse, sought as quiet revenge for the foul committed in the first place. They are both reprehensible behavior, but that never seems to matter but in hindsight. All to often this behavior is only examined once the devastation is complete and someone is in tears, and by then it's far too late for an amicable solution. I am NOT trying to justify bad behavior, there is however a caveat. When a person has to deny a part of their sexuality to be in a relationship, this is no less reprehensible. Cheating is selfish, there is no bone to pick about that. But when a spouse knows their partner is bisexual and expects them to deny themselves the expression of their sexuality, that is equally selfish. To ask this kind of self denial of a person is the definition of selfish. It smacks of childish insecurity and self-centeredness. To do this knowingly, is reprehensible, just as reprehensible as cheating. It says, "Oh, we are going to deny your needs so you can meet mine and make me feel better." That's bullshit! Cheating is cowardly, but accepting this kind of scenario is cowardly as well. It is delaying and denying satisfaction of one for the sake of the other. It says, "I lack a spine strong enough to stand up for myself, so I will allow your idea of sexuality to run roughshod over mine." That reeks of codependent behavior and is a fertile bed for resentment and passive aggressive tendencies. What happened to being true to yourself? What happened to acceptance? I guess trust is only conditional in such a relationship. Tell us all how you like living under an ultimatum in five years. Good luck with that. In the end, the answer to all these woes is better communication skills. The poor souls who can't learn to communicate with their partners will either continue to live a lie or pay the piper in blood, sweat and tears. Far too many of us live in fear of exposure because our sex life has a clandestine aspect to it. It sucks so many are doomed to suffer in silence, that's a stressful, unhealthy way to live. That kind of constant emotional stress contributes to heart disease and is a ticket to a early grave. I don't have a good answer for those of us who doom themselves to live that kind of life. Cheating especially serial cheating is a hard way to have to exercise your sexuality. It produces stress, it encourages risky behavior and can expose unwitting spouses to disease and is risky to the relationship. As for the bitterness and hateful tone here of late, I would say it's time to let this go and move to more pertinent issues. Insulting others is no way to conduct ourselves, especially within our own community. It is an unfortunate reality that cheating exists within our community, but that isn't going to change anytime soon. Getting pissed and going on a rant and insulting people won't solve this problem. It won't make the cheaters stop, it won't make the cheated on feel less bitter. So let's let cooler heads prevail and cease and desist with the "fuck yous".
In Deland, sub oral bottom daddy and his gurl friend will be hosting a suck n fuck fest for party tolerant hiv neg tops. We intend to engage in SAFE kinky play and be open minded for trying out new and interesting ways to give and recieve pleasure. Kissing, rimming, WS, sucking, fucking and being fisted are what comes to mind. We are looking to start on Friday 8/8/14 and end either Saturday night or 6 am on Sunday. If you think this is something you might enjoy send me a note to me for instructions and details. Richard [email]r170490th@yahoo.com[/email]
Updated Jun 18, 2018 at 4:28 PM by oursecrets
He arrives impeccably dressed with a bottle of a vintage red wine and a nervous smile in his handsome face. I shake his hand and tell him to keep his shoes on because we are going to be in the patio, a secluded tree paradise that looks like an ancient stone ruin in the middle of a tropical jungle. My wife is already there waiting for us in her black sexy dress and with the glasses for the wine on the table. I take him downstairs and to the patio. My wife gets up and kisses him on the cheek. He hasn't changed his smile and grabs the seat we offer him in front of us. I open the bottle of wine and pour the red nectar into the glasses. He proposes a toast for a long lasting friendship. We had been exchanging emails for a while, explaining everything about how we envisioned a special friendship with us. At first he was concerned with the scenario of sex without gender boundaries since he had never touched another guy before. We recommended him to read our blog in the site. He read every word carefully and after some hesitation, which translated in few days without a response, he finally decided to give it a try. The conversation picks us very quickly. He explains that he is involved in a vanilla almost sexless relationship and that he decided to explore the lifestyle looking for what he can't get at home. He confesses that he had been with a couple of women from the site but that he wanted something more stable and safer, like a mature couple with a solid relationship and with no drama, meaning people like us. We tell him that we also have some experiences with a couple of good friends from the site, that we see then every so often and that we are looking to expand our circle of close friends since the ones we already have aren't available as much as we wished. He understands and likes the fact that we respect everybody's privacy and are not looking for a third in our marriage but just a plain good friend with whom we can relate and have a good time whenever the three of us could get together. After some good jokes and laughs we feel comfortable enough to invite him to our hottub which is in a corner of the patio surrounded by trees. I put some music for the ambiance, open the tub and we strip naked and jump in the warm water grabbing our glasses of wine with us. The chatting becomes more lively and sexually charged. I approach my wife and we start kissing while he watches politely, smiling all the time. I take his hand and slowly let it rest on my dick. He grabs it nervously but without hesitation. Then I do the same with my wife's hand and put it on his cock, she smiles and looks at him. I signal him to join in our embrace and then the magic happens. We are three bodies fused together. Hands run freely through each other bodies and we have a joint kiss for the first time. I place my hand in between my wife's legs and notice that she is getting wet and not because of the water. The time stops and we are in that special dimension where only the senses exist. The exploration under the water continues, everyone touching and kissing. After a while we are too hot for the tub and decide to go to the bedroom. We get out, grab some towels and go upstairs. My wife goes to the washroom and the two guys jump in bed together. He hugs me and places my head on his chest while our hands are caressing each other cocks. Then my wife reappears and gets in the middle and we form a perfect triangle, she is kissing me and he is kissing her neck, my right leg is on her and his left is on mine. We embrace harder, breathing even faster. I start licking my wife's breasts and now she is kissing him passionately while her hands is playing with my cock and his hand in between her legs making her moan as if it was no tomorrow. Next I move to the other side, behind him, pressing my chest against his back, kissing his neck and grabbing his cock with my left hand brushing it against my wife's pussy. The three are still in an embrace only with him now in the middle. It's his turn to get all the attention from both of us. He is on his back now. My wife is on one side kissing him and caressing his nipples. On the other side I go down on him, licking his shaved balls and his hard rock cock. He moans as I engulf his dick with my mouth while my wife is stroking mine and he is fingering her pussy. I alternate between licking my wife pussy around his finger and sucking him. Then my wife mounts him like a cowgirl and slides down until his pussy is pressing on his cock and I can lick the two together at once. I take a condom and put it his cock then I grab it and position it at the entrance to the wet heaven which is waiting for it. My wife slides down even more and his cock disappears entirely inside her. I then play with his balls and my wife starts a very slow ride while he is grabbing her breasts and she is caressing his chest. I now move and position myself on the opposite direction along his side so my feet are near his face and his big toe of his right leg is in my mouth. He brushes my feet with his lips and grabs my cock with his right hand hand, his left hand still playing with my wife's breast. My wife increases the tempo and we can only hear the moans of the three of us like in a perfect concert. My left hand is on his hand guiding him in the movement jerking off my cock. My right hand is caressing his balls. I'm the first to explode shooting my load over my stomach. He understands and slow down his strokes moving his fingers later to my empty balls, few seconds later my wife is screaming with pleasure and then he also gets his share of a fantastic orgasm. The three of us need a little rest. We lay down together, he is still,in the middle, both my wife and me under each arm pressed against his chest, all smiling happily while we are caressing his body with our hands. Slowly the conversation starts again and we laugh together. It's recovering time for getting ready for the next round and to discover the mysteries of this amazing sex only possible among the three of us.
Updated Aug 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM by Nakedfun3
We had many interesting exchanges with honest people who had expressed interest in meeting us. We decided to share this hypothetic dialogue which clarify many aspects of how we see the act of sharing our intimacy with an open minded male friend: Hi X We are looking for someone that is really into a 3some where there is no focus on anyone in specific but in pleasuring each and everyone of the participants. If you are fine with mutual oral male to male engagement, touching sensually in between everybody without restrictions, cuddling together the three of us, three way kissing and so on, let us know. The only rule for now for everyone is no actual anal penetration, only mild anal play between the boys in the context of the threesome is accepted. We do enjoy long foreplays, a good conversation while caressing each other naked bodies, some drinks and chat in our hottub. Now it's your turn to tell us about you. Cheers, R and S Hi guys, my experience before was mostly in being attentive to the woman, with the male being second, I've never kissed a guy, and to be honest don't know if I could. Sucking and playing I'm ok with, my last couple was all about pleasing the woman, and group oral. It was about no one being left out. The woman liked dp, so most evenings or afternoons usually lead up to that. I may not be as hard core as you are looking for, if that's the case I understand. You guys are great looking people, I think it would be a lot of fun playing together. X Hi X We spoke among us and we are a little concerned because we are not a woman focused couple and we don't want you to feel awkwardly when playing with us since we are about the three joining together without gender boundaries or rules about whom and what to touch or suck and things like that. It's not about being hard core bi, but about being with us as a couple, not just a shared wife or cuckold submissive situation. Thanks, R and S Good morning guys, I thought long and hard about your email. Let me see if I understand this, you guys have dropped all the implied social boundaries, and truly focus on pleasure and passion, for everyone. The idea of being with people that are connected at that level without social limits, is quite frankly, liberating. We are conditioned about the do and do not 's, but that closes so many doors. You have a very give and take, Ying and Yang approach to pleasure. One that I'm very interested in, to break my own boundaries and free myself from the social frameworks. I'm really interested in learning more, as this type of relationship is very new and exciting to me. X Good morning X I appreciate your response and yes you understood very well what we are at. We had a friend before who used to join us every so often and with whom we felt truly comfortable the three of us together exploring and building up a friendship in and out of the bed. We spent hours naked together trying different things just for the sake of experimenting and looking for new possibilities of providing pleasure to each other. Unfortunately he was much younger than us and he found a girlfriend with whom he wanted to follow up with a serious relationship, something that we not only understood and were glad for him, but we knew that in his case something like that would happen eventually. I'm telling you this so you know that we know exactly what we really want. About the bi sexuality issue, it is only focused on the sexual pleasure and the warm feeling of being caressed by both a woman and a man at the same time. The stupid gay taboo is long gone since we think there is just sex and friendship in the triad, while homosexuality is a state of mind about falling in love with someone of the same sex, something which we know we are not capable of. Once the social barriers are lifted, as you said, it's very liberating and the frontiers of what can be achieved in this type of relationship are expanded beyond imagination. It's for this reason that we are looking for a true connection, not just plain sex. We are not looking for a third in our marriage, of course, but for a friend with no just the benefits of sex but also someone that can become attracted to us as a couple, someone who can feel comfortable and make us feel the same way, someone with whom we would enjoy a good time together, not only in bed. Obviously this will always lead to a higher level of a very intimate relationship and, once we are there, the sky is the limit. We are not asking for anything exclusive beyond the simple fact of trust and mutual understanding which is required to build up this type of special friendship. We do respect your privacy and expect the same from you, after all, this is just another of the many sides of each individual life. However, said all that, it is expected from all parties a certain level of commitment to get together as often as possible and therefore availability is important to us. The frequency of our encounters will step up the speed with which we can reach a desired level of trust in between you and us. Now, at the same time, since this is something like a living project on itself growing in experience with every minute we spend together, we don't expect from you to perform in any way sexually or otherwise, no pressure but total relaxation, while we learn what everyone enjoys the most and discover together new venues and practices that may have never hit our brains before. Therefore we don't impose rules like no kissing or no whatever. Anything we may avoid in the beginning would be based absolutely on pure but maybe temporary physiological issues, like pain, which we don't like, or other extravagances too kinky at least for a start in a relationship. No closing any door leaves us the opportunity to explore and experiment. According to our own experience, human sexuality is like a constantly evolving organism and things that one may find repulsive today could become very pleasurable tomorrow. The question is about communication within a totally relaxed atmosphere. This is at least what we believe in and which we really want to take it further and continue this exhilarating exploration of sexuality together with a special friend. You are one of the few people who had written to us opening this type of open heart conversation about these interesting but also very private issues. Sharing them here with you I see it as a first step into building the special friendship we have been talking about. If you feel like this is something you would be interested to pursue, we would be happy to invite you to our life. Best regards, R and S
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