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[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]As we walked home (around the corner, actually), he told me that he was doing it with his friends and had been for a while - explained how he knew to suck my dick and why it was so easy to get my dick into him. I shouldn't have been surprised but I was and all that did was get me to thinking about the trouble that was gonna come my way and more so if my pain-in-the-ass little brother couldn't keep his big mouth shut about what we'd just done. Oddly, it never occurred to me to tell him not to say anything and I can't say it was because I trusted him not to; just never mentioned it. Maybe the trust was somehow implied? Still don't know.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]To say we did it a lot would be an understatement. After that first time, we pretty much did it every time we had a chance to, easy enough since we were sleeping in the same bed. I was so worried about getting caught and thinking about how really wrong this was that while I enjoyed us doing it, I wasn't really enjoying it; hard to get into something when the slightest sound made you paranoid and meant that you were gonna get caught any moment now.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]In later years and looking back at this moment, I understood that we had committed ourselves to this heinous act - there was no turning back and more so when I finally got around to not worrying about all of this and having fun doing it to him. While it wasn't all that hard to find a guy who wanted to do it, I had it "good" because I had a little brother who [B]always[/B] wanted to do it and even when I didn't feel like it. His excitement was contagious and I got caught up in it... and I kinda hated it as much as I liked it. It was nice to be lying next to him at night and feel his hard dick pressing against my butt or to be lying next to him, my dick very hard, and I hear him whisper, "Stick it in..."

And I knew I was wrong. It wasn't so much guilt as it was knowing what the adults could be overheard talking about this and the very dire consequences if they ever caught their kids having sex with each other.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]We went to the closest "clubhouse" and as we walked there, boy - he was really getting on my nerves being a bundle of very excited energy! I'm still thinking about all the trouble I could get into right along with thinking I had to "teach" him about sex... and imagine my surprise when, once hidden out of sight, he pulled my pants and underwear down and started sucking my dick and like he knew what he was doing!

Well, that's because he did know. My thoughts got scrambled; gone were the thoughts of getting in trouble; I was excited and confused so much that when I shot my stuff into his mouth, it took me by surprise. Even as I shot it, I barely thought that having my stuff in his mouth was gonna freak him out (and like it did some of the other guys) but, nope - he made it all disappear with a huge smile on his face.

As that haze started to go away, I knew I had really fucked up but now it was too late to "take it back." Even as I laid him down to suck his dick, my mind was a blank... and it bothered me that it was blank. I sucked his 8-year-old cock for a very long time and while he wasn't shooting the stuff yet, I could feel it when his dick shuddered in my mouth and knew he was having that "good feeling."

He said, "Stick it in me!" and, again, without any thought about the trouble I'd gotten us into, I used a lot of spit on both of us and with him on his belly, laid on top of him and stuck it in. My dick slid right into him and he didn't complain or even say, "Ow!" He did say, "Oh, yeah - do it to me!" and I did it to him until I shot my stuff into his hiney hole... and it felt good... and even better than when I shot my stuff into any of the other guys. I didn't think about why that was; my next thought was pretty automatic and I told him, as I laid down on my belly, to stick it in me... because that's just the way it was.

His cock zipped into me and it felt so good and I knew it would feel even better since he wasn't shooting; he'd fuck me until he got tired or had enough of the good feeling. And as I lay under him, feeling his boner moving in and out of me, I knew I was in serious trouble and my only real thoughts were about not getting caught because I also knew this wouldn't be the last time we did it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]What do you think about when you know you're doing something you, by rule, have no business doing? CSReef's post on "Brotherly Love" got me thinking about this and a bit more than I normally do - and that's fine because one of the tenets of being bisexual is being able to tell yourself the truth in these things... all of the truth.

It was "bad enough" to have gotten introduced to dick; it was "bad enough" that I went off the rails with it with the guys I was growing up with; in this - and as I got older - I was amazed that all of us seemed to discover this about the same time. In a lot of retrospect, maybe I should have known that my brother would get bitten by the dick bug and I really didn't know he had until the day he asked me if we could do it.

If doing it with the other guys kept the red alert flags flying in my head, hearing him ask me this [B]really[/B] set them off and my first thought was how much trouble I could get in if we did it and got caught. A few of the fellas had gotten busted in the act and some of them, whew, the beating they got was epic. One guy "disappeared" - his parents packed him up and sent him off to live somewhere else but until we found that out, we thought he was dead. You'd think that having these thoughts would deter us but they didn't; all it did was make us be even more careful.

So he asked and I said no. He asked why not and I told him my thoughts about getting caught. Then he said he really wanted to. I said no again. He just wouldn't leave me alone about it and even after I told him that I was gonna beat him up if he didn't. He became the annoying little brother, following me around all over the place and getting on my nerves and after a couple of hours of him bugging me, I caved in and said we can do it.

In my head, I was both leery and excited; that voice in my head was screaming at me, telling me that this was very wrong - don't do it, you're gonna get caught and get beat really bad.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]While I knew that some brothers forced the other brother into it - really fucked up - for the most part, if "Sam" didn't mind "Dave" doing it to him and "Dave" was okay with it, well, is there a really a problem? Was it "better" for brothers to learn in this way than to take bigger chances with other guys or that "Sam" and "Dave" doing each other gave them some necessary experience with sex in general?

Yeah... I obviously had a reason to give this brother thing a lot of thought. The I-word upsets a lot of people and to the point where I knew of a lot of people who'd just write it off as experimentation and go on like it never happened; I wondered about this and I couldn't tell whether they really just chalked it up to "one of those things" or maybe some inner guilt over it made them categorically deny that it ever happened. I was learning a lot about how a mind can work in these things and it was pretty confusing; you know you and your brother (or sister, or whoever) did the I-thing but then you act as if it didn't happen? What's up with that? Today, I understand it... can't really explain it or if I tried to, I would be writing for months explaining everything I've learned about this.

The short version is that it happens. It has always happened. It's happening right now somewhere in the world. It doesn't always happen and, yeah, sometimes, some folks kinda wish that it had and especially those who felt the pull of it but were, understandably, too afraid to answer the call. We are quick to call it a kind of abuse because that's the way we're supposed to think about it. Brother slings his dick on his brother? Well, that had to be forced, right? Sometimes it was... but not always.

I've had a lot of male lovers... but none better than my late brother. Indeed, we had had sex two nights before he got killed and it was as enjoyable as it always had been. Even at that age, we didn't have anything to prove to each other; it wasn't about whose dick was bigger (mine was, by the way); none of the stuff I hear guys going on and on about didn't matter to us. Let's get naked and do what we'd done time and time again.

Suck each other's dick until we came. Catch our breath. Fuck each other. Clean up and if time allowed, start all over again. Someone asked me if my brother hadn't been killed, would we still have sex with each other... and I think that we probably would have kept right on doing it. Despite time, being older and the animosity we had toward each other, we never really stopped having sex with each other until he lost his life - that tends to grind things to a big time halt, doesn't it? I have no regrets about it whatsoever. No guilt. No shame. I understand what sex "really" is and how it can happen. If he was still alive and willing, I'd blow and fuck him without giving it a second thought and he probably wouldn't either.

And while there are those who'd say or think that I'm a really sick son of a bitch - and I used to think I was, to be honest - well, I know some stuff about sex that most people don't want to know and I learned to accept the nature of what we can really be and no matter what the rules say. And I'm not the only one who figured this out and realized that the loopholes continue to exist...

And it's only illegal if you get caught. That's the real truth inside the whole truth when brothers have sex with each other.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The real question for me was, "Do you feel bad about any of it?" The truth? I thought I did feel bad about it, only to face the very hard fact that, no - I didn't feel bad about it at all. The rules and shit notwithstanding, I knew this was nature doing what nature intended us to do and the trick, other than not getting caught, was being careful and mindful of the consequences.

Over the intervening years, my brother would often show up out of nowhere and I got to understand that he wasn't visiting just to say hi and how are you doing. While he admitted that he was feeding his need for dick with other guys, when he wanted "the best," it was time to pay me a visit. And whenever he did, I'd never turn him down even when, sometimes, what I really wanted to do was break his neck. That we could set aside our differences and have sex meant something to me and, nope, still can't explain what it meant.

Now, while all of this was going on, I was learning that brothers having sex with each other was a lot more common that I thought it was; I had met a lot of guys who had their first experience with a brother or a cousin and, yeah, sometimes, their daddy turned them on to the wonders of dick. So highly immoral... yet I was understanding that even the harshest punishments didn't do much to stop the I-word from happening. I understood what all the fuss was about but I thought that we - humanity - was fussing about something that no one could really do anything about. No, it didn't always happen between siblings but, yeah, it also happened and I thought maybe it was because it was supposed to which was probably why it was and still is so highly forbidden even if "Sam" and "Dave" are screwing each other silly and there's no way in hell either of them are gonna get knocked up.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Getting caught again was a real thing and we both knew it and we knew that if that happened, I wasn't going to get off as easy as I had the first time we got caught. I was the oldest and I was supposed to know better... and I did; I'd be lying if I tried to say I didn't. But I knew the rules were bullshit even though I knew why the rules were the way they were.

Once we both set out on our own, no one was more surprised than I was when, one day, my brother stopped by for a visit and said, "I need some dick - you busy?" Even though it had been a long time since we'd had each other, the comfort and familiarity came back and as if it had never left... but, then again, why would it have? We were still brothers and our running feud with each other had no bearing on things. We both said, after a couple of hours of having sex, that it was like riding a bike or coming home after being away for a while. We followed a long established routine once we got into bed. We sucked each other off and his cock and sperm was, indeed, that "taste of home" in that sense; even he said, after swallowing my load, "Your shit still tastes good..."

Being in his ass was just as familiar and right down to the way he moved with me and moaned except, this time, he had said, "You don't know how much I've missed this." And I knew what he meant when I felt his cock slide into me, making me feel all dreamy, warm and fuzzy as he fucked me and shot his load into me. And, yeah, I did tell him that I missed it, too. Cleaned up, got something to eat and drink, climbed back into bed and did it all over again. We talked some more before he got into the wind and it was probably the most... intimate conversation we'd ever had with each other.

"Nobody does it to me like you do," he said and his words touched my heart. "We need to do this more often, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know," I said and told him that out of all the guys I'd ever had sex with, he was my favorite hands down.

"Who knew?" he said with a laugh and went on about his business, leaving me to sit there, my belly and butt filled with his seed, to ponder the whole I-word thing and, in particular, how the rules and laws didn't mean a whole lot when it came to this. Sure... my sister and I were lovers and, again as I shared, I had voiced my concerns about us fucking, only to have her tell me that as long as I didn't knock her up, what's the problem. And she was right; her words had really exposed the loophole in this regard. She even pointed out the obvious: If sex was between men and women, um, she's a woman and I'm a man, right?
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As previously shared, yeah - we finally got caught. I took the blame for it and didn't even bother to tell the truth that all of this was his idea to begin with because I wasn't going to be believed. The beating that scared both of us didn't happen but the lecture I got is something I will never, ever forget. Didn't stop us from continuing to have sex, mind you, but it taught us a lesson about being too comfortable and not paying attention to what might be going on around us and, what probably got us caught, not to make a whole lot of noise.

Even as we got older, eh, sometimes we'd be sitting in our room - and sometimes because we both got grounded for something - and he'd say, "I need some dick..." or I might have been looking at him and felt my dick stirring and say, "Hey..." and he'd just get undressed and say, "Took you long enough - damn!" We just [B]knew[/B] when we wanted each other and sometimes all it took was just a look; no words were really necessary between us. While we often fought like rabid dogs, I wondered if some of our fighting wasn't due to our general dislike of each other but just a way to have some make-up sex; I remember asking him about that one day and he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about which only made me think that I was right about that.

We never had that "what do you want to do" conversation; it was a given that we'd blow each other, swallow each other's spunk, rest a moment, then fuck each other. Fucking him and being fucked by him was so very different from any other sex I'd experienced with other guys and even today I can't really explain that. It was comfortable, familiar, and just more satisfying. We never complained to each other about anything; there was no such animal as something not being done right and if one of us came "too fast," it wasn't a big deal; just recover for a few and start again.
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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Fact: A lot of guys have their first homosexual experience with a brother. Fact: Parents are very much aware of the possibility and hope that the brothers don't while knowing that they might experiment with each other. "Normally," such experimentation is short-lived and since parents are aware of this, unless the boys get careless or stupid enough to get caught, there's no real need to intervene although it's prudent to remind those horny fuckers not to do anything with each other.

Some parents even know that to tell a kid not to do something is the same thing as telling them to go ahead and do it.

Sex with my brother was good. Very good. We had that familiarity with each other despite our love/hate relationship. It was comfortable. No need to "prove" anything to each other. No "dominant male" games - we were wholly versatile with each other by "default" and probably more than whenever we'd have sex with our male friends. Kid logic suggested that if you couldn't have sex with someone you really knew, who could you have sex with? And who do you know better than your own brother?

Despite our... misgivings with each other, there wasn't a dick I wanted to suck more than his and there wasn't a dick I wanted in my ass more than his. Likewise, he'd tell me that while doing it with his friends was nice and all that, he loved my dick in his mouth and in his ass a lot more. When we weren't almost literally trying to kill each other, we'd often lie awake at night and talk about what would happen if we ever got caught... and sometimes we'd talk about this while having sex. We cared... and not really. We knew we'd get a beating to end all beatings and we both felt it was worth the risk.
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