A lot of talk! Help me understand.:-(

[matt9496]

Been trying to find someone to hook up with. Everyone likes to talk a big game. Whenever it comes to putting a time and place together, they shy away. Is this the norm these days? Is it me?

[softfruit]

No, from all I've seen on here in years it's a common theme from many posters. I guess many people come to this site at the stage where they know they enjoy the thought and want to share their fantasies, but may be at the stage where actually turning into something real is a little too scary just yet.

But it's not where everyone is at, so keep trying :)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Now wait a minute. Matt didnt say anything about people from Here...I think he was talking about hook-ups in General. Am I right Matt? If not, then I apologize. :}
Cat

[softfruit]

Good call, I was reading a "round here" into it that wasnt written. Though I think it's fair to say there's been a good few posts on that theme about this site (and almost every other!)

[matt9496]

I was speaking of people in general. I do most of my chatting thru this site tho.

Thanks for your input!

[bimwmdecatur]

No, from all I've seen on here in years it's a common theme from many posters. I guess many people come to this site at the stage where they know they enjoy the thought and want to share their fantasies, but may be at the stage where actually turning into something real is a little too scary just yet.

This is a common theme across several sites that I belong to. When you stop and think about it, meeting someone unknown can be kinda scary for some people. Always arrange to meet in a public place, never in private for that first meeting. You never know who will show up, LOL.

I also think that there are lots of folks who want to participate but get cold feet at the last minute.

You just have to keep plugging away and eventually you will find someone whom you can have a great time with. Just takes time.

[its just me]

I agree with Softfruit....its a stage and people are testing their own limits. How far am i going to take my fantasies...or feelings???? There is a point where a person will progress (to a meeting) or beyond the cyber stage. Its a choice each person has to make...

I know cuz I came out to someone less than a month ago and we met....THAT WAS SCARY.....eeeeekkkkkkk

Its too bad some people string ya along until the meeting point. I didn't hesitate to tell people that i wasn't at the point of meeting..(still do) lost some folks but most are still cyber friends that i entend to meet when i get to that stage...

my:2cents:

[handheld61]

No, it's not you. I have been trying for a long time with no luck, just fantasies.

[chook]

No, it's not you. I have been trying for a long time with no luck, just fantasies.

That's exactly what it is just a lot of people living out their fantasies, then you have the persons that think that they will drop dead if they don't suck a cock within the hour of chatting to someone, then only if you are real lucky you might find someone that is actually genuine but that is as rare as the proverbial rocking horse shit, my advice is keep on looking and searching and maybe you will meet a genuine person who wont let you down but it will take a lot of time.


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[onewhocares]

I must be the oddest of people, because I have had the pleasure to meet so so many people from this site in person. I guess I have never really had any expectation of anything more than meeting a nice person from this site...so therefore I was just meeting a friend. I think that I extend myself just plain ole me and get to know people. Hooking up is not my intent. But....everyonce in a while a special someone comes along...and electricity happens.

Belle

[Realist]

Belle, I feel the same!

Looking back, I think some of the most wonderful people I've known ended up being lovers. The best relationships usually began slowly, with neither of us thinking about being intimate, at first. Meeting, becoming friends, confidants and finally, almost as a second nature, we became attracted and maybe even fell in love. I feel much more comfortable in that mode...getting to know someone's likes and dislikes and learning what makes them tick, then figuring out what thrills and pleases them, that's when things are special!

Having said that, there has been a time, or two, when I knew right away that, "This person is hot! I have to have her/him!"

[Kermit Jagger]

I am guilty of starting fast and then not finishing, at least not yet. I love it when someone initiates a response or answers one of my messages. So, maybe I am a too provactive at first. On the other hand, I like to share my fantasies and have others share their fantasies with me.

What has happened to me is either the person wants to meet in private or in succeeding correspondence I learn there is no chemistry. I do let the person know why I am not interested in going further. I'll keep trying though in hope of meeting people with whom I will eventually get together.

Love,

Kermit

[grmi1804]

there are simply lots of people out there that are too scared to act on it.
i've been encountering the same issue, all chats and fantasies, then they either chicken out or simply disappear. i guess patience is the key.
i, myself, am tired of chatting and talking and exchanging naughty pics and cams for years. just simply ready to take the next level for sure. but where is that guy?!?! :(

[mikey3000]

I hear ya too. Been there, come close , only to have the other person back out. Fustrating!!! ESpecially on Craigslist. Ugh!

[berryhard]

same here, seen the same stuff. even from me, prior to my first actually meeting where i went through with my fantasies to b with a guy, i got so nervous i backed out.
being married, new to this gig and a demanding unpredictable job are all reasons people back out. frustrating but part of it all.
having said that anyone who wants to meet right away also could be an issue or problem.
one thing i have seen latley is guys who want to cam, they are naked and ready to jerk off, want to see me naked then poof are gone. not cause i am hideous i think, more that they went past a point they felt comfortable with then pulled back never to be seen again.
once i hooked up and came to learn i really enjoy it, and the world didn't end it was easier. fun actually, really fun !
as with so many things, you need to sort through a lot of bad to get to the good. hang in there, it really is worth the investment.

[southerncpl]

We have had alot of issues with ppl talking a big talk and then not showing up, never to be heard from again. Ppl like to think about it and then get nervous I think. We finally found a guy, and we all hit it off really well, I just keep wondering if he's gonna stick around.

[Kermit Jagger]

Finding the right people is tough regardless of whether you are straight, bi, or gay/lesbian. The search for the right people is difficult and frustrating, I can attest to that, with many mis-steps and mistakes, I can attest to that also. What's the alternative? Stay home? Compromise? Become celebate? Not very attractive. So keep on keeping on. (Sorry, if I'm showing my age. But it's a great phrase.)

Love,

Kermit

[bi bi baby]

Everybody at their own speed I suppose. I know I decided I would just go for it when the situation presented itself. Of course I put myself out there and hooked a total stranger who knew he had a straight on the line. Guess the wedding ring gave me up. He worked me good, although he didn't need to. It started as a jerk off session and before I knew it, I had a cock in my mouth. Mind blowing and quite liberating all at once. Some posts have mentioned the day after or how did you feel in the morning. Well, I have no regrets. Just another life experience.

[graytwo]

:) This site ain't no hook-up joint! People here are safe, sane and just as worried as you about that 'sex thing'. Any relationships they have just cloud the issue. since we're all confused as to what we want physically vs. mentally.

Any clues concerning relationships that crosses the 'sex bounds' for males or females in a relationship is greatly appreciated for discussion.

I'm a male in an MF relationship where she get's totally hot with any F-F/M yet spouts any M-M/F is totally "gay" and turns off.

I just don't understand, so I'm asking to all you other safe and sane types, what gives with this 'sexual stuff'???

-graytwo :)

[lilme]

I think there are too many people playing games. I have been in contact with a few women and men and it seems that men are the ones that don't live up to their promise. I have been in contact with women and about 50% will do something, as for men only 10%. So if you are horny and need it, well there is your hand, it is always willing.

[raloot]

Been trying to find someone to hook up with. Everyone likes to talk a big game. Whenever it comes to putting a time and place together, they shy away. Is this the norm these days? Is it me?

Hey Matt, I'm really willing to meet you, bud. We just have to find the most convenient time for both.;)

[boca.openminded]

Been trying to find someone to hook up with. Everyone likes to talk a big game. Whenever it comes to putting a time and place together, they shy away. Is this the norm these days? Is it me?

maybe for some people they need more time...

maybe you are became too pushy and scared them away...

I prefer to swap a few emails before I meet someone.

dont kill the messanger. Im just saying...its hard to say when we do not know anything about the chats you had

me for example i started chatting with someone (yrs ago) and after about 20 min he said he wanted to meet tomorrow. I told him I wasn't ready and he got pissed and told me that if you arent ready after a few minutes of chatting then you wont be...