New room: "Cali-Cafe"!!!!

[Mimi]

So because I live in LA and have some friends on here in northern and southern California, I thought it would be cool to start up a chatroom called "Cali-Cafe" so we could all mix and mingle. It would be a weekly chatgroup with free-flowing discussion, so there wouldn't necessarily be a topic (unless people all decided they wanted something like that). It would be friendly talk, so no cybering. And possibly it would be a stepping-stone for people to form friendships off-site, which is one of my personal goals.

Anyone here interested?????? I was thinking of having it on Thursday evenings around 9pm/10pm, which is the best weeknight for me. If we have it on a weekend, I think Sunday evenings might work better than Fridays or Saturdays.

Mimi :flag1:

[ally66]

Hey Mimi,
I think that would be a great idea, I am definitely interested

[sam in LA]

Would this be a place one could exchange tanning and fitness tips, discuss car and fashion trends, and gossip about celebs? ;) If Mimi will be there, I am certain there will be much cerebral exercising. Sounds like an interesting time online. Though I would like to suggest extending an invitation to all who want to join in the discussion regardless if you reside in California.

See you there, SAM :cool:

[serenity]

Mimi I think this is a fantastic idea and I am there!!!! Of course anyone can come on in even if they are not from Cali, but at least there is a specific place for locals to meet and who knows???? Let's get the party started!!!!! :bounce: :bdaygrin:

[Flounder1967]

This sounds like another silly room idea. Why do we need more rooms. This is become very silly. Since i'm not from California I will glad NOT attend. Couldn't you just have sent the idea be e-mail to people from your area instead of a genarl post for all to see and be offended by such a silly idea.

[ladydelanie]

Flounder,

Thank you for being the first to express the feelings of many.
We try to include everyone in the main room, and everyone is free to create a private room.

Posting in the forum that you want a room for Cali people might make others feel unwelcome.

Just my :2cents:


I will always prefer the Main.......


Hugs,

Ladyd :)

[arana]

I'm not sure that Mimi meant this the way you are thinking Lady and Flounder. I might be wrong but I take this to be something similar to the groups that Rupert and PeterH are trying to start where she would create a room every week called Cali Cafe for people from L.A. to get together and talk. Announcing it to the Forum is the only way people really have to let others know isn't it?

[Mrs.F]

You could be right arana...however, I didn't take that way when I read it. I thought the same thing Flounder and LadyD did. :rolleyes:

Mrs.F :)

[arana]

You could be right arana...however, I didn't take that way when I read it. I thought the same thing Flounder and LadyD did. :rolleyes:

Mrs.F :)
That could be too :tongue: I don't fit into any of the groups anyway so I'll keep my mouth shut on them.............sorry.

[Mimi]

I'm glad there are some interested peeps here and I'm looking foward to chatting with other Californians. :) :bounce: No one said anything about the day/time, so I will just keep the Thursday 9pm time slot until anyone suggests otherwise. I'll start the group tonight and keep it going and see how things go. :)

As for those who feel offended, I did not mean any harm. :( I still don't really understand all the resistance about more rooms -- PeterH and Rupe have both suggested rooms and they only got good responses, even though not everyone here wants an intellectual debate or is Christian. Plus, my first time suggesting new rooms people even recommended that I create my own, and THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING NOW.

The only thing I can say that is different about my ideas are that I want to meet people more local to me, although there was someone else who posted about starting a local group. And no, I don't think it's reasonable that I send private messages to everyone who is in California -- there are too many people. And I've tried popping into the chatroom and waiting for Californians to appear, but that is too unpredictable.

This forum is open to everyone who wants to exchange ideas in a civil manner. I think I have just as much right to create a new room for people in my area to mix-and-mingle as it is for someone to talk about underwear or politics. Seriously, I'm getting very worn out having to defend myself. We are all on this site for different reasons. I'm not raining on anyone else's ideas, so please treat me with the same amount of respect.

Mimi :flag1:

[RebekaLee]

mimi...you have fun w/your cali room... some of us just don't have enough ppl in teh same state to start our own rooms! haha
and remember, LOTS can be taken the wrong way w/just words on a screen! but i do hope your cali cafe is fun...and ya know...it might even bring more ppl to the site and to the rooms in general! and this is always a good thing in my opinion! (as long as they arn't kids and men that just want to see two women kiss ::rolls eyes::)

[ladydelanie]

Mimi,

By all means I did not mean to make you feel as if you had to defend yourself.

I was simply stating the way I read it, which I am sure you did not mean it like that!! ....No one should have to feel that they have to be defensive!!...... :)
I was giving my :2cents: .......not that is it right!.....lol

By all mean have fun!! Thats what this site if for. We all have fun in our own ways! :)

Seriously did not mean to offend!!

Hugs,

Ladyd :)

[allbimyself]

Mimi,

Yes, this is EXACTLY what I meant about forming your own room.

Flounder, Mrs F, Lady.... I love you guys but ur wrong here. There is no difference about what Mimi has suggested than Ruperts Christian group. I won't be attending either and I take no offense.

Unless you guys thought she meant petitioning Drew to add the room permanently?

Maybe as a counter-point I'll start a non-California atheist group....

[Mrs.F]

No problems...I understand. Enjoy your room and meeting local people to you Mimi.. :bigrin:

Mrs.F :)

[Driver 8]

I still don't really understand all the resistance about more rooms -- PeterH and Rupe have both suggested rooms and they only got good responses, even though not everyone here wants an intellectual debate or is Christian.
It's partly phrasing, I think - there's not much resistance to a scheduled discussion that happens to meet outside the main chat.

Ever look at the bisexual.org chat? They have, quite literally, dozens of specialized rooms - and none of them get any use. Here on bisexual.com, at any given time, all the chat seems to be in one room (usually Main) because people gravitate to where other people are chatting.

[ddbmma]

Maybe as a counter-point I'll start a non-California atheist group....

Lovely. What about those who are not of any faith, even atheism? Sorry, but I see even atheism as a form of organized religion. Yes, I know it is not religion. At the same time it is people herded together with like ideals and belief, or lack of belief. I'll stick with being a dakhar or heathen, thanks.

It is a simple label to abide, as is "hey I'm just a human being." No disrespect intended, merely posting a little bit of maya into the void. Believe it or not, I was actually once Mennonite. Wow, growing into adulthood and gathering experience gives a person new views.

I think I'll go form a room to worship holy Sporks (tm) & Silly Putty (tm). Then we'll get the revolution under way. Watch out world, Sporks shall rule you all with equality and utilitarianism! All hail the holy Spork! Shazba! Meanwhile we'll know the infamous Invisible Purple Unicorn will plot against us. In our awareness comes our best defense. Nomina Sporka!

Mimi, enjoy your local group. Allbi, enjoy your athiest group. No, seriously I think it is great people can fashion their own places to meet. Pardon my bit of humor about it. I find if one cannot laugh, even at themselves, life is not worth the living. I also see it as ironic everyone feels a need to isolate and exclude others further. We're on a site for bisexuals, you know the people who gays, straights and in between hate. We're a family here, but I guess all eagles take to wing, huh?

So you go right on creating sectional rifts, scattering children to dust. We are not anything more than dust from stars anyway. It does not matter in the wider scope of things. "Look he's got different skin color, he's purple. Let's hate him!" They also let free a cry of "burn the whole village, God can sort his own!" But, it doesn't matter because once you push up a stone through the cold earth, no one cares.

We are all born alone and all die alone. Apologies if this seems harsh or callous, but that's life in a nutshell. I better scoot, need to get back to work.

[Flounder1967]

By all means start your little cafe. I just see as a fudile attemp to sart another room that is not really needed. just don't be suprise if people form other areas might give you a cold shoulder. We have other rooms and the worked for less than a week. I do agree that if there were over 50 or 60 people in the room other rooms would help.

I am very intrested in your work mimi and would like to talk more about it, but it would be very hard when there are other rooms. It would be nice to be able to be in mulitple rooms at the same time, but i don't think that is possible.

[arana]

By all means start your little cafe. I just see as a fudile attemp to sart another room that is not really needed. just don't be suprise if people form other areas might give you a cold shoulder. We have other rooms and the worked for less than a week. I do agree that if there were over 50 or 60 people in the room other rooms would help.

I am very intrested in your work mimi and would like to talk more about it, but it would be very hard when there are other rooms. It would be nice to be able to be in mulitple rooms at the same time, but i don't think that is possible.
Holy Moly Flounder, calm down. It's a once a week get together which so far is being held past your bed time. No one begrudged your story time get togethers you wanted to start, why are you giving Mimi such a hard time?

[Driver 8]

I also see it as ironic everyone feels a need to isolate and exclude others further [...]So you go right on creating sectional rifts, scattering children to dust.
Oh, good heavens, Mimi and allbi and Rupert are talking about setting up a meeting time and place open to everybody interested in a particular topic, not about purging anyone who's not interested. Do you complain that schools teach math in one classroom at one time and Spanish in a different classroom at a different time, instead of holistically bringing all topics together 24/7?

[ddbmma]

Do you complain that schools teach math in one classroom at one time and Spanish in a different classroom at a different time, instead of holistically bringing all topics together 24/7?

I was laughing about the irony of people creating cliques. I was not complaining about them. It is ironic that they form on this web site which promotes the acceptence of others. Cliques tend to be exclusive save for members of each respective clique. Excuse me for having a sense of humor about life, alright?

I also thought mature adults visited the site and open discussion was warranted. That means sometimes other people may disagree with your ideas, and can say so. Please do disagree with mine if you like. It will not upset me in the least. Because, I understand others may disagree with my ideas for reasons they deem imporatant or worthy.

I further understand no one who disagrees, has any need to provide an explaination as to why they disagree. That is the free exchange of ideas on the internet. I am not insulting the people presenting the ideas. They may think they are excellent ideas. I find the ideas hilarious myself, because of stated reasoning regarding cliques.

Again forgive my finding it funny and voicing that. From now on I'll vote to withold my voice and vote. It seems elucidation of it causes problems, take it away, ergo bye bye problems. Besides, I am no one anyway.

[Mimi]

I'm really disappointed in all the nay-saying here on my thread. We, as a minority of minority groups, should support each other in attempts to network with each other in different ways, not only on this site, but also in person. It really amazes me that people have interpreted my little itty bitty group to be a "silly idea" or some humungous threat to the ENTIRE website. I checked in with Drew about the appropriateness of the group, and I have his full support. So, end of discussion.

As for our first "grand opening" of the Cali-Cafe, I must say that it was very successful! :impleased :wiggle2: I met some new members who live in all different parts of California. It also was great to reconnect with my friends serenity, sam in LA, and jennz. I had stopped going into the chatrooms because I was feeling a little lost in direction, but now for this group I think I will be more of a "regular" here.

So the group will be Thursday evenings at 9pm-11pm PST. I will probably post reminders each week, and upon Drew's suggestion, post it in the "Events" section as a reoccuring event.

Thank you to those who attended, and to those who support this group (even those outside California, the bestest state of all :tong: ) in getting off the ground!!! :bibounce:

Mimi :flag1:

[allbimyself]

ddb, i agree with your views. Unfortunately, vocabulary is limited and "atheism" is closest. Furthermore, I was not serious. Perhaps ur irony detector needs adjustment?

As far as the diatribe about creating riffs: I would certainly rather Rupert's group meet in their own room to discuss their religion, rather than doing so in the main room where those that aren't interested would have to listen. These aren't "cliques" as you put it, they are simply scheduled meetups for people interested in a certain topic. Do you seriously suggest that those people wouldn't interact with others the other 167 hours of the week? Get a grip, dude.

It just amazes me that you would feel that this is some sort of seperation of individuals. No one said you couldn't attend. And if you aren't interested in attending than you should be thankful they do it somewhere where you aren't.

[Driver 8]

I would certainly rather Rupert's group meet in their own room to discuss their religion [...] It just amazes me that you would feel that this is some sort of seperation of individuals. No one said you couldn't attend.
And, in case anyone missed it on the other thread - the Christian discussion group is, in no uncertain terms, open to anyone interested in the topic, regardless of whether they identify as Christian or not. Rupert has expressed a cheery willingness to eject people for flaming and misbehaving, but this is not a private club by any means; it is open to all.

[Mrs.F]

Either everyone is a tad cranky or we are all just reading more into some of these threads than were intended. There has been alot of madness and pointing fingers and harsh words exchanged amongst each other here lately. :(

I, myself am just as guilty as the next but it's getting kind of old. Can't we just agree to disagree on some subjects and move on. We are all here to be part of a great family community and as normal friends and family, you have your spats and go on.

I feel bad that I misread your initial thread here Mimi and I"m glad that everything worked out for your first meet. I hope it continues.

Mrs.F :)

[ddbmma]

I am glad everyone can create their own meeting groups. It is as mimi pointed out better to network. My apologies for my humor being off, I will now return to exile. Thanks.

[huneypot]

damn, wouldnt we ALL like to meet people from the same area..
so ill set up an irish room..........................
ow wait, only bout 4 irish on here and im the only 1 one who seems to chat, ummmmmmmm
scrap that idea.......................................
ill have to stick to what i usually do, go to the regular, well loved main room and see my friends, make new ones from all areas and have a laugh
now that seems like a good idea

Mimi correct me please if I am wrong, but U came here to learn about bisexuality, help u with ur study etc, so why didnt u observe what happens in this well loved, well used, well respected and not complained about place (2nd home to me).
Why come in the door and five minutes later try change things, dont sound like someone who wants to observe to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to be honest I did feel a lill sting about groups and rooms for people from the same area, as im the only irish person who uses this site on a regular basis (it seems). I fully appreciate u want to connect and meet with people from ur area and I wish u luck with this, I do

[Mimi]

damn, wouldnt we ALL like to meet people from the same area.. so ill set up an irish room.......................... ow wait, only bout 4 irish on here and im the only 1 one who seems to chat,

okay, is THIS what this is all about? that people feel jealous that i'm forming a local group when others don't have enough people in their area to do so? well, if this is it, then the only thing i can say is that it's sad that there aren't enough people to have more local groups. :( there aren't enough "bisexual communities" out there, period. i wish that EVERYONE on this site had a real-life local bi community they could go to. so that's WHY i'm trying to create one. if someone is making some progress, why not support them? if there ever is enough ppl to have an irish group -- by all means, go for it!!!! if people want to start a married couples group, or seniors group, or S&M group, i would still be happy for them even though i wouldn't qualify or be interested in them. i would never criticize anyone for that.


Mimi correct me please if I am wrong, but U came here to learn about bisexuality, help u with ur study etc, so why didnt u observe what happens in this well loved, well used, well respected and not complained about place (2nd home to me). Why come in the door and five minutes later try change things, dont sound like someone who wants to observe to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will gladly correct you on this! ORIGINALLY i came on this site to recruit participants for my study (not for observation by the way). i am already done with my study. i'm now here to socialize with people who are similar to me and to possibly make local friends. this is all on my profile. i am also here to help provide input to the message boards, as i am relatively knowledgeable about bisexual issues. i have led many bisexual and LGBT groups, and so i think i can provide a certain perspective.

i'm glad that there are people here like you who are happy with the site. i am not trying to change that. i am merely trying to add options so that people like me can also get what they want out of this site. it's about more choices. if you like the mainroom, by all means hang out there. for me, the mainroom is too chaotic and crowded, and i think there are other people who feel the same way i do, but they probably have not spoken up, or they just decide to leave the site altogether.

mimi :flag1:

[smurf111978]

I havent read every post as there are many however, I have to agree with huney, flounder and others about setting up another local chat room. I just dont see the need to divide members off into local chat rooms when it is quite easy to check where people are from by looking at the persons profile or by asking. What happens when we all decide we want a local room, it will end up dividing us not bringing us together. I have made many friends here that I wouldnt have made if they where tucked away in local chat rooms.

Best wishes
Smurfie
xoxoxox

[serenity]

You know guys.... I'm new here, yes. I am Mimi's best friend... yes. Mimi introduced me to this site because I have felt very lonely, and very isolated in my bisexuality. It has been very challanging to find a bisexual community where I live in Sacramento. When I came to this site I felt so warmly embraced. I felt such a release to be able to connect and impact other people like me in such a positive way. To be able to share myself and my experiences. To be a positive, healthy, bisexual role model, and to be support for others as they make their own personal journeys. I also hoped to learn. To be impacted myself. To find others to enhance my life. To embrace diversity and in turn, be embraced myself while doing so with respect and dignity.
Respect and dignity.
I wish to meet every single person on this site. I wish to make friends across the nation and across the world. How lucky I would be to make such connections.
I also wish very much to meet some people that would be more physically assessable were I ever to choose to meet in person. Be it as it may, this little community is really quite large. The time it would take to locate every single person in CA, and filter out the ones not truly interested in the same things I am, is unrealistic.
I greatly value maintaining the integrity of this community.
I value power in numbers.
I value that the more human connections we make, the more people who share their experiences, the stronger and the more united our bisexual community will be.
Adding a room, any room, increases the chances of growing this community, as well as making it more appealing to members who may not be as active on the site due to not having their needs met as individuals.
While for the time being, one room seems to facilitate, I believe opportunities are being missed to include others.
This may sound strange to some because a new room is perceived as exclusion. Though perception is reality, it is not necessarily truth. There was never any implication that anyone was excluded. Nor was it the intention. I believe Mimi made that clear, if not the first time for some, certainly the second. Anyone who wishes to visit the room will always be welcomed, and enthusiastically embraced regardless of where they are located in the world. I believe being made to feel welcome, and being considerate is an expectation that you have all set. Let it continue to be so.

[meteast chick]

Mimi,

This already looks like it's gotten out of hand. There are already several other rooms that hardly get used, I guess I don't see the need for another.
I guess more power to ya if you get ppl interested, but I don't see the point. I love meeting up in the chat room with people all over this glorious world and seeing where they come from, is that so wrong? I don't think so. It kinda screams exclusion to me but I guess I feel like I already have plenty of friends on here. I just hate that this seems to have already created bad feelings here, and that we need less of or none at all. It's bad enough that we come here to feel included as part of this big family since so many of those on this site have felt alone for so long, and to segregate a portion of this family seems somewhat blasphemous.

There's my :2cents:
Do with it what you will,
meteast

[allbimyself]

Mimi,

I guess people are still confused over what you are trying to do, or maybe I am.

I can't imagine why anyone would be opposed to what you are suggesting, or at least to what I believe you are suggesting. So I'm going to attempt to re-state it and you can correct me if I'm wrong.

Everyone else,

Mimi wants to have a one or two hour weekly get together in chat for people from California who wish to connect with other locals. SHE will set up a seperate room during the scheduled time for that purpose. This is exactly what Peter does with his discussion group and what Rupert has proposed for the Christian group.

Personally, I think all these ideas are great even though I personally have no interest in them. Having folks with a common interest get together periodically is NOT a bad thing. Yes we are a community but that does not mean that groups of individuals within the community do not have other interests not shared by all. Would anyone object to a group being formed to meet periodically for the express purpose of discussing issues faced by monosexual partners of bisexuals? I think not. This is one issue with which this community has been very good at helping others.

Let's look at some of the objections raised and see if they might be addressed.

1) Having local chat rooms will keep people from meeting others outside their area.
How so? Remember, we're talking about a short get together, NOT permanent rooms. In fact, it's entirely likely that someone that comes for the express purpose of attending a local get together discovers that the community as a whole has much to offer and becomes active outside the narrower group. And, if someone should only come to the site for that group, so what? They wouldn't have participated in the site at all anyway.

2) I would feel excluded.
All that is happening is that someone is posting a time/place for those interested in a specific topic or sharing a common interest to get together. End of story. Suggesting that others shouldn't get together to discuss something YOU are not interested in is so obviously wrong it doesn't even deserve discussion. If you live in a geographical location that is under represented and don't feel a local group could be formed, that is sad. However, that doesn't excuse denying others to do the same. To do so would be analogous to me saying "Where I live there's 3 feet of snow on the ground and the temp is 5 degrees today. So I can't go swimming. If I can't then nobody else should be allowed to swim even if they live where it's 80 and sunny today."

I would and have objected to permanently creating rooms for narrowly defined groups. This is NOT what Mimi is suggesting (unless I've totally misunderstood her). If that is what you think she is proposing, calm down, it's not.

In fact, I think we should encourage this sort of thing. Drew should add a page that shows when a specific group gets together and the topic of discussion. Some first time visitors to the site would be be more likely to participate if they saw this.

This is not to say that these topics could not be discussed at other times, but one is more likely to find others interested in the topic if attending a group meeting formed for that purpose.

[Mimi]

Mimi wants to have a one or two hour weekly get together in chat for people from California who wish to connect with other locals. SHE will set up a seperate room during the scheduled time for that purpose. This is exactly what Peter does with his discussion group and what Rupert has proposed for the Christian group.

YES, THANK YOU, allbi! that is EXACTLY what i'm proposing. thank you for trying to make clear what i (and serenity, arana, rebekah, and you) have been trying to make clear all along. i really don't know how to make it any clearer at this point. *sighs* i suppose people will read into it what they want to.


In fact, I think we should encourage this sort of thing. Drew should add a page that shows when a specific group gets together and the topic of discussion. Some first time visitors to the site would be be more likely to participate if they saw this.

actually, there is the "Events" page which has a section for online events. i think i will post there, and any other people who have some kind of topical group should also post there (e.g., Peter and Rupe).

and i am done explaining! *throws hands up*

mimi :flag1:

[serenity]

Allbi thank you!!! Right on target. That is exactly what Mimi is doing. Thank you for being so articulate. It is just a time and place to meet on one night, for anyone with similar interests.
I agree that I think this has been blown way out of proportion. People tend to believe what they wish to believe.

Something to keep in mind...
We are communicating via computer. The only way to show physical emotion and body language is through smileys and emoticons. Communication is so much more than words. 98% of communication is non-verbal; smiles, eye contact, open body language and positive tone of voice are critical.

Communication, I think, is really an art. To be able to express written text in a consistant way that leaves no one hurt or offended would most likely take a poet or very talented author. Even that is not the case most times.
So, please, if at anytime something triggers an emotional response, or leaves you wondering what the intention behind the words are, please ask for clarification.

I know that it is not the intention of anyone here to hurt and be hurt. Everyone is here for the same purpose. To connect. To make connections with other people like them, who have things in common and who have similar interests. Not everyone is going to agree, but remember we develop and grow best through open dialogue. Always with respect and dignity. And if a person in the end does not like something, perhaps have a solution in mind instead of just hurtfully shooting someone down. That's not what we are here for. Save yourselves and eachother a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Much love and respect,
Serenity

[tom_uk]

I try and avoid getting sucked in to this sort of discussion – but as Mrs F said – its all getting a bit odd – must be spring on the way and we are all getting feisty – well except chook et al …..

I think the idea of a christian room on a perve dot com is a bit strange but all power to Rupert for giving it a try – its easy to shoot people down in flames but much harder to get of your arse (ass of our usa friends) and do something

What’s wrong that Mini is trying to get a group for California up and running? If she wants to give it a go “good for her”

If people want to just kick about in the chat room enjoy

tom

[allbimyself]

The only problem with the events page is that I'd imagine new people don't go there. These group chats could be very good at encouraging people to return IF they know about them. To that end, I'd like to see the bisexual.com group chats promoted on the main page and have already PM'd Drew about doing just that.

[Sparks]

Mimi, and the Room,
I thought I posted a resonse to this thread a few days ago, but it's not there. Actually I'm kinda glad that it didn't post. To be honest, I was pissed at the regulars for putting you down on the idea. I've mellowed since then.

Mimi has no intention to turn Bisexual.com into a talkcity, myspace, etc. I read clearly what her intentions were in her first post. Drew created a wonderful site here where acceptance, care and concern of each other is paramount. Each of us come here by virture of the fact that Bisexual.com is community based! It's so damn easy to share here.

I'll always believe that the main room will be the primary place for us to meet and chat, including Mimi. Why? Because Drew has set this site up with Class. I see no problem with the concept of your idea, Mimi. You're not trying to split the community at all. You're just opening a window for locals to share their thought's and friendship. I'm sure that Drew will not allow a multi room site for the lonely men and women, bottle of wine in their hand. . . .seeking?
:2cents:

Take good care Mimi, and my friends here.

Fred